Ben

I resent Steve Jobs. Seriously.

2007-06-30T03:56:28Z

I think the iPhone came out today. There was just a thing on Nightline about it.

And yeah. I hate Steve Jobs.

He will never stop producing things that I want, but can't afford. Not ever.

Hate that guy.

Here I am, outside at three in the morning, being angsty. Also, graughphlianthorippicnb.

2007-06-28T08:19:04Z

So, people. I just watched Amélie. I love that movie. I've seen it before, but I don't remember if I ever watched it in any other manner than in French with French subtitles.

But I remember loving it the first time too.

But, as with Melinda and Melinda, a movie I just watched last night, it leaves a feeling of emptiness. It leaves that craving, the one I used to qualify as the need to do something important, something memorable. I no longer think of it as such, because now I see it as more of a companionship thing. The need for love, for a fellow ...

There's something haunting about blogging here. Wow, that sounded dumb.

I'm near a block of stores. A coffee shop, a book store, a hair place, an emporium of knitting paraphernalia, a frame shop, and what I think may be a place at which they sell wooden toys for small children. But I don't know for sure, and frankly, I'm too scared to check.

I don't know why I'm here. I think originally I was hoping I'd be able to get online from here, but, surprise surprise, I can't. Either they have no Wi-Fi, or it's turned off at three in the morning.

"Surprise." That's a difficult word to type. Surprise.

I type fairly quickly, but dude. I need to slow down when I do that one. Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. Every time, it comes out "surspise."

Those little lights on top of the things they use to block off streets that have been completely torn up. The ones that blink once a second. Those. There are lots of them around here. It's a little bit haunting watching each of them flash in their own rhythm, completely independent of one another, yet almost entirely in synch.

Is that how you spell it? I know it's a word, but is it spelled differently for this situation?

Entirely 'nsync?

All of the stores are lit. I don't know why. They've all got lights on, but no one inside. It's a little bit unnerving.

I'm getting two to five Wi-FI connections I can use, they keep showing up and disappearing, but they all require passwords. Fuck you, internet-havers, sharing is caring.

I have to wait until I get home to upload this, and graughphlianthorippicnb.

Yup. I think I'm done.

I should probably go home and do this, and get the laptop back, so if anyone notices I'm gone, I only get minimal shit.

"Fantasia, courtesy of the Desolate One," or, "I go crazy repping the Jesus."

2007-06-26T08:18:17Z

So, I'm watching Fantasia. I have not watched this movie in a very, very long time.

And, the Sorcerer's Apprentice sequence just ended. I was wondering, did this movie receive any complaints from religious enthusiasts? See, in there, not only is Mickey Mouse using magic (to create life, playing God, in a fashion), right off the bat, but he then enters a dream state, leaves his body, and floats upward, and begins to magically rearrange the very heavens, using his evil telekinetic witchcraft to fly planets and stars from one side of the universe to the other. He then, in a blatantly obvious reference to the story of Noah, destroys what he has created, as it has stopped obeying him. And, upon the sorcerer's return, he quickly uses his magical ability to split the water, allowing for a path to form from himself to Mickey.

And then in the dinosaur thing there's evolution and stuff.

This started out as serious thought, and slowly developed into more and more of a joke.

Here comes Gutmenchy. He'll befriend your children.

2007-06-25T21:11:15Z

So, I had an epiphany while I was half asleep in the late afternoon. I was waking up from a nap the other day, and it all just flooded into my head.

GUTMENCHY, the friendly orangutan.

He is a happy cartoon orangutan, who plays on a little league team with human cartoon children. He is very friendly, and loves to hang out with his friends.

He needs constant reassurance of your love for him, given in the form of handholding at all times. If you are around him, he needs you to hold his hand. If you refuse, he will die. Seriously. If he's not taken away from you very, very quickly, and you do not hold his hand, he will cry, collapse and cease to live, in very quick succession.

Gutmenchy loves to eat chicken pot pie, and has frequent severe stomach pains.

These are not related.

So yeah. This will be the best cartoon show ever.

And you will all buy Gutmenchy onesies for your children.

Hell, let's reminisce.

2007-06-25T21:08:50Z

So, I dunno. I made this account a while ago, and never, ever used it.

I may just post the same things I put on my myspace. I have no idea.

But I'm sure as hell starting with Gutmenchy.